Wonder Woman (2017) – That One Time DC Made a Marvel Movie

Dear Reader,

Having watched both Batman v Superman: Dawn of AIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIDS Justice and Suicide Squad, for some reason I decided to watch Wonder Woman. Directed by Patty Jenkins doing her best to copy Zack Synder, Wonder Woman is a movie where CGI things happen on screen, and for some reason, we’re suppose to care.

Honestly, considering all the positive buzz I’ve been hearing about this movie, I’m really disappointed. This was a bland superhero movie that Marvel’s been making over the last ten (?) years. If you like this movie that’s fine, but to me, this was just a generic action/superhero movie.

Now before we go any further, I want to state a few things. I’m not a Marvel fanboy. I haven’t seen a Marvel film since the first Thor movie. I don’t care for them and I don’t intend to see any in the upcoming future. The only comic book movie series I’ve followed is X-Men, and even then I’d say they’ve been pretty hit and miss. I don’t care about comics or anything else outside the movie. All I want is a good movie.

There’s nothing in Wonder Woman that stands out. It doesn’t feel like anyone’s vision, just a corporate product. The protagonist discovers a bit about themselves and that no matter what humanity is the bestest, and there’s a witty side character. The villain(s) is super duper evil and poorly developed and in the end, there’s a big battle on a green screen in which you know the hero will win even though it goes on for what feels like half an hour. Seriously the only things that I enjoyed about Wonder Woman was Ewen Bremmer’s presence, as it made me think of what it would be like if Spud from Trainspotting was a master sniper in World War One, and that one of the villains does super cocaine that gives them super strength which made me think of ‘Flossie Dickey Bounce’ by Dance Gavin Dance.



(God it’s so good not to listen to generic movie soundtrack music.)

Gal Gadot is fine as the titular character and Chris Pine as Steve, her sidekick is fine. I found all the villains and Steve’s secretary to be extremely cringe-worthy. Everyone else was fine too, I guess, but no one was memorable. It’s not to say any of the actors are bad as I honestly think they did their best with the material given to them.

I feel very much the same about the action scenes. There was nothing special about them. I’ll also say that I think this movie really could’ve benefited from being more dark and violent. Considering one of the themes of this movie was how horrible war is, I never got a real sense of that. I know that some people don’t like how dark and brooding BvS is, but I really feel this could have worked with a movie set in one of mankind’s most brutal and horrific conflicts.

Overall I’d struggle to recommend Wonder Woman. Nothing about it feels unique or original. I honestly don’t think I’d care to see any other movie from this cinematic universe. If you enjoyed it that’s fine, I can see why people like it, but it didn’t really do anything for me.


Your Writer



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Jack Fretwell

I love violent shooters, crime movies starring Benicio Del Toro and happy sounding songs that read sad.

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